How to get an F with Style

            A lot of people fear the dreaded ‘F’ grade they might get at the end of a semester, regardless of whether they’ve been working really hard throughout the course or not. All students hate to be presented with this grade, so they try their absolute best to prevent this. However, in some cases, this grade cannot be escaped. In fact, this procedure explains to you how to get that rotten grade while having the time of your life in only four enjoyable steps.

Since most teachers care too much about attendance, the most obvious way to start this process is by focusing your creativity in coming up with a solid, strategically beneficial attack on the attendance rule. In the beginning, you should give the impression of being a student that is indifferent to the lecture by not attending regularly. When you establish that and decide to show up, you should never be punctual. Wait until the lecture has only about fifteen minutes left then make a grand dramatical entrance, preferably yelling from the top of your lungs.

The second step into that joyful route is behaving your worst when you get to your desk after the commotion of the magnificent entrance. You should first start with the first technique you could use, which is guaranteed to get you that F, and it is to act asleep and having a nightmare in class. You could flap your arms around moaning “Oh no! The monster! The monster!” When your teacher attempts to wake you up, you should look at him/her for a few minutes drowsily before saying “I am still dreaming, right?” The successful method you must use after trying out the ‘having a nightmare technique’ is grunting and making funny noises while your teacher is in the middle of explaining something to the class. This will annoy your teacher a lot and will most certainly put you in the lowest positions in his/her eyes. Complaining about how boring the class is, should be the following attempt to behave in an appalling manner. It almost always works and never gets old. Last but certainly not least, and is the most enjoyable aspect that is sure to irritate your teacher is asking irrelevant, and really idiotic questions in class. Such as “Would a cat look cute in the latest denim pants?”

In the third step, you are required to come up with creative reasons and answers that will bewilder your teacher.  The creative reasons are the statements that will amuse you and the rest of the class when you tell stories of the causes that made you incapable of giving in your homework on time. The creative answers, on the other hand, are the things that you produce to decorate your exam papers in. For example, if you were asked about the date of birth of a certain famous writer, you could claim that the last number you are able to count up too is the number ten. In other words, in the third step, you must give carefully thought of reasons for not doing your homework, and write imbecile answers on exam papers. 

The forth and final step in this hilarious dilemma is your finale piece of acting. You must seal the course with a happy ending that best matches your ‘style’. To achieve that you must fold your exam paper at the end of the lesson into a paper rocket then throw it across the room while acting like a child. Next, you must jump on the desk and yell “FREEDOM!” Imitating what Mel Gibson said as William Wallace in Brave Heart. Finally, as you let yourself out of the lecture hall, you must turn and face your professor, in order to ask him/her if he/she will miss you over the summer.

            In conclusion, if you make a horrible mark in the register book due to your appalling attending program, and behave in a shocking and awful manner when you enter the class, if you also tried to construct smart verbal and written comments, and finally came up with an astonishing culmination, you will not only be assured to get the F-grade, but you will be promised to get it with style.